GRAVES-- Gwen. Big shocker there. This woman needs to take a ride on the Prozac Express and take a spin through "This is the Real World" land. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ethan and Gwen are legally little Ethan's parents-- but doesn't Gwen realize the psychological damage she is doing to that child? She TOLD Little Ethan it would be okay to spend Christmas Eve with his mother, who by the way-- Gwen still refers to Theresa as Little Ethan's mother TO the little boy. It'd be different if Gwen referred to her as Theresa, but she doesn't. She just takes pleasure in causing Theresa pain, even when it comes at the expense of a child. It's ridiculous. They ALL refer to Theresa as his mother, Gwen treated the child as though he were dispensable when she thought she was getting her own biological child-- but once there's a question-- she'll grab back onto Little Ethan and act as though she really loves him? Gwen is not capable of love. She can't even spell it. Gwen loves short and easy-- she doesn't even know the true meaning of love.. because she has a lump of coal for a heart-- any person who was a decent human being would not parade a child in front of his REAL mother and try to act as though the child shouldn't even recognize her. It's insane.

GRAVES-- Ethan. Chump of the year award coming this motherclucker's way. Just wait for my BEST/WORST column-- this chump is getting suckerpunched and it's gonna hurt. He hates Theresa for what she did? He agrees with Gwen that Theresa doesn't deserve to be a mother? He pays lip service to all the hatred Gwen and Rebecca spew-- (hey, if you're not CONDEMNING it, you're CONDONING it!). But-- he helps Theresa sneak in to see little Ethan? And I thought Rebecca was a hypocrite.

RAVES-- Theresa. LOVED her scenes as she tried to steal time with Little Ethan any way she could. I can't wait to find out that Theresa is REALLY the mother of the baby, and we get to watch Gwen screech like a howler monkey AGAIN!! It's gonna rule! I'm already stocking up on liquor so I can play my new drinking game-- drink two shots every time Gwen screeches "This isn't fair!!" Theresa is finally gonna trump Gwen for good. Even though we all know that Gwen is gonna go off the deep end and try to not only kill Theresa but kidnap Theresa's child. And I love how the T-haters are saying it's due justice for when Theresa tried to kidnap Little Ethan-- but the facts just don't even wash. Sorry-- Little Ethan IS Theresa's biological child, and Baby NO-NAME is Theresa's child as well-- Gwen is TRULY kidnapping when she takes this child. I can't wait for the GWEN-WUVERS to defend this one. (giggles with glee)

Best part of the week-- Bex, Tabby and Edna being chased around and bonding over the liquor in the closet-- it ruled!! Cracked me UP!!

Worst part of the week-- Once again, anything involving Fox, Whitney, Chad and Valerie. Sorry-- I'm not rating their performances until they actually start PERFORMING!! They are a waste of space on my TIVO, and that's all I'm gonna say.

This week and this week only-- I am suspending the RANT OF THE WEEK, and replacing it with MOST WONDERFUL MOMENT OF THE YEAR. A little taste of the coming Best/Worst column.

Pilar gets her house back. It is about FREAKIN' time. She gets back the house that was so wrongfully stripped of her. I'm gonna clarify something with the haters. THAT HOUSE was built with Crane money, yes-- but the Lopez-Fitzgeralds were paying the money back. Everyone needs to remember that when they were all stripped of their jobs, they sat down and crunched the money. And when they did that-- Pilar made the statement that they had enough money to pay TWO MONTHS of the mortgage in their savings. This clearly explains, with absolutely NO hesitation-- that they were PAYING off the house, to which Rebecca would have only been able to use ILLEGAL MEANS to take it away. But I digress-- this moment actually made me cry. I BAWLED watching Pilar open the door and finally get her place to live again. This was a beautiful scene, and after the torture Pilar has had to endure this year-- it's about time she got a little piece of something happy. That said-- I wanna make sure that Julian made that contract IRONCLAD, so when Gwen loses the DNA race.. that Rebecca can't take the house away AGAIN.

Til next week,
Censor