Censor's Passions Commentary - November 09, 2004

Hey guys-- I'm back and RARING TO GO!! First a shout out to the hubby (Happy Anniversary babe!!-- 4 years tomorrow!!) Now-- how freakin' good was the show this week?!? I know that not everything was resolved-- but hot diggity-- I was barely fast forwarding. Grab a drink and let's get started!!

GRAVES-- Rebecca. Oh no she didn't!! This witch with a B did NOT just talk to Pilar about how Pilar taught Theresa to "lie, manipulate and steal husbands." Helloooo, Rebecca?  Hello pot-- meet kettle. Rebecca wrote the book on manipulating and would someone please remind me how that skanky *b*ore married Julian? Oh yeah, that's right. And her feigning innocence and trying to accuse Pilar of making false accusations about the loss of the L-F family home, jobs and little Ethan? Someone kill her. Or at least give her backbone back? What has happened to Rebecca that she won't own up to what she's done? The Rebecca I know and loathe would never act as though everything didn't bow to her whim.

GRAVES-- Whitney. Oh my freakin' GAWD. Just kill her. Take that flatiron she's so fond of these days, stick her butt in the tub, and FRY HER BUTT!! Oh my lord, if I have to watch her have *another* fantasy about how Ivy and Fox find her out-- I'm gonna have a heart attack. Whitney is supposed to be smarter than this. But no-- she got knocked up by her 1/2 brother and apparently-- her brain fell out of her ear. Get it together, Whitney. We're sick of this. And we're sick of YOU!!

GRAVES-- Fox. Nuff said. Wake up, Fox!! It's all a nightmare.

RAVES-- JER. (ducks massive boulders that were just hurled at me). Hear me out. I would like to take the time to personally thank JER for not subjecting us to FONEY love scenes. The kissing is more than enough to send me running to the bathroom. The way these two talk in bed-- makes it sound like they are gonna need a new mattress soon, and I am happy that I have not had to endure the continual mattress mambo you are making these two dance. That said-- the rest of your storylines still need some serious work, so don't go getting a big head about this.

***we interrupt this transmission for a new segment to the commentary.. my weekly What was that?!? Award***

WHAT WAS THAT?!? Ivy cooks now? I'm sorry, my show-induced alcoholism must be making my mind play tricks on me? She's making club sandwiches with Campbell's soup? (nice product placement-- Ivy should do infomercials-- I'm actually planning to publish my "So, Your Entire Life Is A Lie" book-- Ivy would be *perfect*!!!

***now back to our regularly scheduled commentary***

RAVES-- Julian. For getting Liz's goat while she was secretly hoping that her brainwashing of TC held up.

GRAVES-- Liz.  For freakin' breathing. DIE, already-- you have no purpose. OR-- go dig up Antonio, blackmail him, force him to divorce Sheridan and take BOTH your sorry butts back to St. Lisa's where you belong.

RAVES-- TC. I can't believe I am actually typing this. Did TC get some Prozac? Wellbutrin? Something to curb his rage? Cuz he stood in the same room with Julian and didn't break anything. Not even a pencil. This behavior alone deserves its own weekly mention.

GRAVES-- TC and Eve. Their talk was touching, no doubt-- but I just don't care anymore. I feel that TC has no right to even share air with Eve after the way he treated her. No matter *what* she did 25 years ago, she was still his wife. She still mothered his daughters (who TC still thinks the world of, even tho Whitney is turning out to *truly* be her mother's daughter). Sorry-- do not pass GO, do not collect $200. TC should have messengered over the divorce papers, because no matter how I felt about Eve lying about her past-- TC had absolutely no right to treat her the way he did and then claim that he still loved her. I call bullznit on this. Go back to the shed, TC.

GRAVES-- Sheridan and Katherine. Oh my lord. I would like to announce that Sheridan has succeeded in proving a scientific anomaly. THE SPEED OF STUPID. Oh my gawd-- what part of Luis telling you that Mr. Wheeler was his dad was difficult for you to understand?!? For an episode and a half, you perfected "deer in headlights", "dumb blonde" and "I don't believe it" looks. Believe it. And as for you Ms. Katherine-- chickens are coming home to roost-- I suggest you get your bootie ready, cuz I have this pretty big belief you got a BIG OL' SMACKDOWN coming your way with the quickness once Pilar hears about who you've been playing footsie with under the table.