Censor's Passions Commentary - November 03, 2004

Hey friends-- sorry the column is so late this week.. my mom's birthday was today (Happy 61st, mom!!), we had to go vote, Isaac is just *really* good at being three this week (insert massive sarcasm here), and to top it off-- My MAVS won tonight!!  YEAH, BABY!!  But anyway-- back to our melodrama.  Grab your favorite beverage, smoke 'em if you got 'em, and let's get this ball rolling, baby!!

GRAVES-- SHUIS.  For the third week in a row, I'm slamming these two.  UGH.  JER is just killing these two.  I spent 3 years waiting for this couple to get back together, only to have them DOA the moment they reunited once Andumbio died.  What a waste.  And to top it off-- they're complete idiots!!  Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler *both* knew their parents?  Were intimate friends?  Yet-- they clam up as soon as Alistair disappears the gazebo. COME ON!!  I know that the truth is around the corner, but did JER have to take this crazy, jacked-up scenic route to hizell?  Yup, I thought so.

GRAVES-- KaMart.  Once again-- they share the honors of three-time losers with SHUIS.  There is almost zero redemption for these two at this point.  Unless Martin wields a knife and he and Katherine take turns stabbing Alistair to death, and we all get to watch and JER holds a telethon so we can have a say in how many times he gets to be stabbed-- these two are toast.  "We're gonna tell, Ohh we can't tell."  Oh my freakin' GAWD-- drive me up a freakin wall with these two.  They have *got* to go.

RAVES-- Paloma.  Her scenes begging Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler not to leave Harmony were absolutely touching.  Silviana has a lot of potential.  I have dug her since she set foot on screen, and have struggled at times, but as long as she lays off the LF family harping-- I think things are gonna be copasetic with me and "Mini-T."  That said, how adorable were Chaloma this week when Paloma asked Chad to go with her?  Arrgghhh!!  The agony of waiting for these two to hook up is killing me!!  I hope JER puts these two together, and mucho fast!!

GRAVES-- FONEY.  Oh my lord!!  Am I really watching this?  Or rather, am I really fast-forwarding through this?  Doesn't JER realize that it takes me nearly 30 minutes an entire week to fast forward through FONEY's scenes?  Doesn't he realize how much advertising I'm not watching, cuz I'm too busy shielding my eyes from their scenes?  I maintain my position that JER missed the boat with these two.  Granted, I was a TheRox fan from pretty much day one of Fox's misstep into Harmony-- but if JER would have put FONEY together CLEANLY, possibly even last summer-- I would have probably warmed to the idea.  Having Whitney do this bullznit where she's gonna pass off the incest baby?  It is just the wrong path.  I *hear* Whit might change her mind about passing the baby off, and might give it up for adoption instead, but HOW, I ask-- is she gonna hide a pregnancy from Fox, who she is supposedly bumping uglies with every chance she gets.  Quelle tacky, n'cest pas??

RAVES-- Ivy.  I KNOW!! (ducks rocks thrown from the masses)  But hear me out-- Ivy is dead right on this one.  She knows something is up.  Because Ivy is the master manipulator and they can smell their own kind.  I hope Ivy plays to Whitney just like she did to Theresa and then busts her sorry behind outta the water.

GRAVES-- Eve.  Lemme get this straight-- Theresa is her patient and she is bound by patient/physician confidentiality, right?  But Theresa confesses to date-raping Ethan, and suddenly *that revelation* is bound by said confidentiality?  I think not.  She's her doctor, not her priest.  Give me a friggin break and pass the darn aspirin.  This is making my head spin.  The next time I decide to rape a guy so I can steal his child because his witch of a wife stole mine-- remind me to check into Harmony Hospital and request Dr. Russell's services when I feel the need to spill my deeds to the world.