Censor's Passions Commentary - October 26, 2004

Hey guys, sorry the column is late this week-- things have just been nuts around my house.  The show was *dripping* with hypocrisy this week, which means that everyone's favorite "Censor" is gonna be *dripping* with sarcasm.  Grab a drink and here we go!!

GRAVES-- Whitney.  Honey-- you may think you're taking a page from Theresa's book with your plan to rape Fox and pass the baby off.  The problem is-- you are dealing with Ivy, honey.  And Ivy is the Masteress (is that a word?) of manipulation.  You are playing in too big of a league.  You can't hang with Ivy, homegirl.  You just can't!!  Give up now, sweetheart.  And has anyone noticed that Whitney has not said "I love you" to Fox yet?  Hello?  They are in love and have had to wait through so much to be together-- and here we go-- Fox can't even notice that she hasn't given her undying love declaration yet?  UGH!!

GRAVES-- Fox.  Nuff said.  WHY oh WHY do we have to put up with Fox drooling after Whitney?  This is ridiculous.  The show is just pushing EVIAN part two again.  And I don't see why I have to endure this.  It just eggs me.  I don't understand why JER ever thought that we wanted to see THE strongest male character to hit Passions in 5 years reduced to someone with his tail between his legs, chasing a woman who is using him.

RAVES-- Whitney's dream that Fox and Ivy figure her out.  This was HILARIOUS!!!  The line about "take your freakazoid baby?!?!?!?"  C'mon-- we were all rolling at that, right??  Cracked my bootie up this week.  Too bad it was just one of Passion's stupid fantasy scenes.

GRAVES-- Ivy's rewrite.  All of a sudden, Ivy is gunning for mother of the year?  She *cares* about Fox's place in the family.  Give me a flippin' break!!  This is absolutely ridiculous.  Why in the world are they selling Ivy as someone who cares about Fox's life.  Why hasn't the show ever explained why everyone hated Fox?  When Fox first appeared in Theresa's bedroom over 2 years ago-- Gwen, Ethan, Ivy and Julian both looked at him like he had killed their father or something.  There was massive hatred.  The only people who even looked at Fox with a modicum of niceness were Theresa and Pilar.  *sigh* Just another dropped storyline by JER.

RAVES-- Gwen's nightmare.  Her life is over?  She won't be able to survive the loss of another child?  Do you promise, Gwen?  You promise you'll die?  PLEASE?!?!?!?  I wish I could say that her acting was moving-- but I can't.  I think Liza used up all her tears during her Oscar-caliber mourning scenes of Sarah.  Those were some phenomenal scenes.  The ones that have plagued my television for a week now are just not registering with me.  They need to move on.  Get this girl another storyline.  Let her get back on the exposing Beth track and then Gwen could be the one who returns Sheridan's (her supposed best friend) baby to her.  Now-- there would be another Oscar-worthy scene.

GRAVES-- Gwen begging Theresa.  UGH!  And Gwen even trying to say, "you're a mother, Theresa-- you understand how powerful that is."  Umm, actually-- Theresa is NOT a mother anymore Gwen.  Sorry.  Thanks to you and your mother-- she is *not* a mother.  You took her son.  For several months now-- when Theresa has said, "I am little Ethan's mother," you have relished every single nanosecond of being able to tell her, "*I* am little Ethan's mother-- the courts stripped you of your parental rights."  So therefore-- Theresa is *not* a mother, and is unable to feel your pain.  I hope you lose everything, Gwen-- and end up in the looney bin.