Sorry the column is so late this week guys-- but the show was just absolutely horrible this week.  Nobody gets a passing grade this week.  NOBODY.  It's taking everything I have to just get through the show these days-- but I am holding out hope for the return of Justin and Lindsay, and some watchable shows again.  Til then-- I hope the column can hold up under the pressure :)

GRAVES-- Luis and Sheridan.  As soon as Luis told that stupid story about the glasses-- show of hands who *knew* the glass would break?Can the writers think of NOTHING original?? This is just like the Chinese Noodle with TherEthan and Chadney.  And it's WORTHLESS!! Can't JER just let these two be happy for more than a week?  The wedding (commitment ceremony?) was beautiful, but I thought there could have been more flashbacks-- why didn't they show any of the hot tango dances these kids used to do??  Those were some of my favorite SHUIS moments.. but I'm already downtrodden about it-- Sheridan's been supposedly "kidnapped" as of Friday's show-- and now there are rumors that Antonio might not be as dead as w all hoped.  UGH!!

GRAVES-- Whitney.  Her temper tantrums are back in full swing.  She obviously couldn't go a whole week without slapping her mother-- so now we see the return of Slapney!!  UGH!  Could the writers POSSIBLY not ruin ONE character on the show??  Whitney was never my favorite-- but she was certainly not my least favorite.. now-- she is just FF fodder, and I CAN'T FREAKIN' STAND HER!  Why, oh WHY do they have her bonding with Liz? 

GRAVES-- Liz.  Get your own freakin life!!  Let me get this straight-- you could never make it work with any other man-- but as soon as you get your own sister's husband away from her, you're knocking boots with TC before the bed's even cold!!  Let's call a spade a spade-- you're just like what you accuse Eve of being.  A trampy *b*ore who lays down with anyone who's willing to lay down next to you.  GAWD-- I hope there's a massive explosion at the Russell's, and the only person who dies is you.  I actually like TC more than I like you right now- and anyone who knows me-- KNOWS THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING.

RAVES-- T.C. Russell.  (I *KNOW*-- but hear me out).. anger-management-boy actually got through an emotionally angry scene with Julian without threatening to kill him, without hitting him.  I was *SHOCKED*.  Are the writers trying to soften TC??

GRAVES-- T.C. Russell. How dare he talk about Eve like that? No matter what she did (OVER 25 YEARS AGO)-- she is still the mother of his children, and she deserves respect. PERIOD. I don't care if Eve killed TC's father with her own bare hands with a bloody machete from Survivor: Vanuatu Islands. TC laid down with her for the better part of two decades, and made two beautiful (if not emotionally disturbed) daughters. Show some freakin' respect. I don't care if I ever hurt my husband-- if he EVER called me the names that TC calls Eve-- I would pull his toenails out through his eyeballs.

GRAVES-- Eve. Why won't Eve slap her own daugther?? I'm not proud to admit it-- but I have done some things in my life that definitely deserved some slaps from my mother-- and she certainly delivered. On that note-- she also needs to slap the stuffing out of her windbag sister Liz and that no-spine-having excuse for a husband, TC.