Censor's Passions Commentary - April 25, 2005

Hey guys-- Censor's back!! And I do mean, BACK!! I am so excited to write the column this week because there is just SO much to talk about!! For those of you who have been following my personal stuff-- the wedding went off without a hitch, and I am proud to say that my best friend is now a married woman!! It was amazing. That said, I've been getting emails telling me that everyone misses the "feisty Censor".. but I think everyone will be happy-- because I feel I'm back and in FULL FORCE!! Grab a drink, smoke 'em if you got 'em and let's get this rant started!!

GRAVES-- Luis/Sheridan/Beth. I am *so* sick of this. Seriously, JER just proves in spades day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year that HE DOES NOT CARE WHAT HIS FANS WANT!!! He keeps "killing" Sheridan, takes her baby, he's got Alistair foaming at the mouth for his "supposed" daughter. JUST.LET.IT.GO. Does anyone but me think that JER just lost his focus? That he had an initial plan and then lost the outline of the story? Because this doesn't make any sense at all. Why drag us through the torture of a 5-day-long DNA process only to find out that the results are once again-- WRONG. What a waste of my life.. If Luis/Sheridan/Beth saga gets 12 minutes a day of coverage, across the week-- I just lost an entire hour of my life watching their drivel. That's 52 hours a year. Meaning that over the course of the saga (I'm starting at the beginning-- basically when "Brian" and "Diana" returned and Beth went nutso when Luis left her-- AGAIN).. I have watched over 150 hours. That is nearly 7 WHOLE DAYS!! I could have been finding a cure for cancer, knitting, picking my nose. But NOOOOO-- JER's gotta be wasting my time with this malarkey. Ungrateful punk!!

GRAVES-- TC and Liz. What in the flying hizell are these zeroes even talking about? Am I the only one who remembers that TC was accepting of Fox and Whitney's relationship? "At least you're a more stand-up guy than Julian." His daughter has been shacking up with Fox for about 8 1/2 months, and he hasn't thrown Fox across the room ONCE. He has treated their relationship with very "un-TC-like" tendencies. And now that Whitney has given the baby up-- all of a sudden, Fox has no business raising his own son? Who the hizell are these people?! I would have laid the SMACKDOWN on those ugly witches and told them to back off. And I swear to GAWD if I have to watch TC cosign on Liz's frickin' melodrama for another second-- I'm gonna go get a sraight-iron, fix Liz's hair and then knock her clean the hizell out with it when I'm done. Trick needs to mind her business. Why doesn't she just have TC knock her up?? Cuz you know that the only reason she even wants this baby is so she'll have yet another tie to her sloppy seconds. Liz is so frickin' nasty. I bet she doesn't even like TC-- it's all to hurt Eve. And as far as the "healthy family environment" that Liz and TC could provide? Are you joking me?? Let's see, a molestation survivor who has *never* fully resolved those issues and a raging, homocidal maniac? Well, this is Harmony-- so that might be deemed "good parents" around there. Here in the great state of Texas, we throw people like that in jail, heck-- we even still have the death penalty baby!! (Censor's note: I am not even remotely hinting that molestation survivors would make bad parents. I am only saying that when someone is traumatized like that at a young age, they have to basically learn to love all over again. They lose their ability to process emotions correctly. And that is beyond tragic to think that they have to go through that. But in this situation, Liz has most certainly *not* done that. Please know that I am not insulting anyone-- Liz has just got me seeing red.)

GRAVES-- Eve and Julian. Again-- what the hizell? They continue to propagate Whitney's lie. So basically, Fox's own father tells him TO HIS FACE, "well, Eve and I were really hoping that we would be able to adopt your child, so we could raise him?" HELLO?! Can someone get the Shell Answerman for me? In what place that even freakin' resembles our universe would someone say that to someone else? Once again, I point to JER losing his story outlines. This dialogue doesn't even make sense. And I'm sick of hearing it. I'd go on, but it's time to rant on something else now.