Censor's Passions Commentary - April 18, 2005

Hey guys-- I wasn't planning to post a commentary this week.. but I just couldn't *NOT* do it this week. So I'm gonna go short and sweet. Things are picking up this week, culminating in my best friend's wedding this weekend-- so after that, Censor should be back to normal. Thanks for putting up with my busy schedule guys!!

The only thing I wanted to comment on this week was this.

I, Censor, being of sound mind and body am willing to admit the following.. I WAS WRONG ABOUT ETHAN'S MOTIVATION FOR BEING WITH GWEN.

For years, those of you who know me best have seen me go on and on about how Ethan is only with Gwen out of a sense of obligation to their unborn child, or out of remembrance for their puppy love that they shared, or even because she was the "safe choice."

And I have been wrong.

Ethan's motivation for being with Gwen was made perfectly clear this week by none other than the ever-so-loverly Nicholas Foxworth Crane.

His explanation of how Rebecca and Ivy had set them up and how Ethan was expected to be propelled to the presidency of the United States was SPOT ON. That is *exactly* why he chooses Gwen. Every single time.

Ethan remembers the dream. We all saw Ethan refuse to propose to Gwen for years, because he didn't want to be cajoled into a marriage of convenience. He cheated on Gwen LONG before Theresa ever came into the picture? Why, you ask? Because he always knew that the "plan" was in play. That Gwen would always be there. That she would be his "Jackie Kennedy" to his "JFK". The doting wife who would look good in the business suit standing next to him at functions.

What Ethan didn't prepare himself for was the entrance of his very own "Marilyn Monroe." He wasn't prepared for Theresa's own little version of "Happy Birthday, Mr. President." And that is why he can never get past his feelings for Theresa, but why it is easier for Ethan to break Theresa's heart TIME and TIME again. Because he knows that she'd love him anyway.

Ethan lost *everything*. Fox was right, Ethan will never be the head of Crane Industries, unless it is proven that he is, in fact, Julian's son and Ivy was wrong all along. (a theory I've held for a LONG time, as well). When Ethan discovered that he wasn't a Crane, he walked away from everything.. except Gwen.

Because she was the one piece of the puzzle that he could twist and turn his own way. Ethan's got more "Crane" in him than he is willing to admit. He uses Gwen, he uses Theresa, he pits them both against each other for his own gratification.

Why?

Because the truth hurts. Because when he lost the Crane title, he lost his stature in the world. Gone were the throngs of gold-diggers just nipping at his heels. Even if he never paid them mind-- they were there. Julian spoke of it several times. Ethan was a very "desirable bachelor." And when the Crane title disappeared, so did all of that.

Ethan's a chump-- watching him fold his arms in consternation as he "pondered" his decision between Gwen and Theresa was worse than watching Garfield wait for the lasagna to finish cooking. What a self-righteous hack.

And who in the sam hizell is Ethan to request that the charges against his murderous wife be dropped? That has GOT to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And good for Theresa for going against her word to Ethan. Ethan didn't keep his promises to her, so why should she? And before anyone jumps down my throat-- promises do not always have to be SPOKEN.. Ethan has been making "implied" promises to Theresa for years, and letting her down every time. He promised to protect her, then stood by and served Theresa's family eviction papers.. he swore to stand up to Gwen then stood idly by as Gwen announced "I want Little Ethan to be my child." So what if Ethan funded Theresa's court case?! There should NEVER have been a court case. Ethan should have dug up his spine and stood up to his wench of a wife.

But did he?? Of course not. Cuz he's a chump.

Til next week,
Censor