Censor's Passions Commentary - January 30, 2005

Hey guys, Censor is back and raring to go. I have a feeling I might catch some flack for this week's column-- but ya know-- interest seems to be waning, so maybe this will perk up a few eyes and improve the following a little. I will not be commenting on the entire show this week.. I am picking two topics and running with them this week because there was something this week that got me hot-- AND as promised-- I am bringing you the Gwen vs. Theresa battle. Grab a drink and let's get it started.

GRAVES to the Passions writers. BOO to JER for showing us Paloma being brutalized for 3 whole days. This was ridiculous. We don't even know if she was raped, or if that guy just smacked her around. COME ON, JER-- can you wrap a scene or not? That said-- I am probably about to get creamed for this-- but Paloma asked for it. That sleazy witch walked into the bar wearing less than I do to bed when I'm planning to seduce my husband. Walking in looking like a bad model for Victoria's Secret. Why does Paloma act all high and mighty when she is nothing more than a trampy witch? Last time Paloma hit the bar scene in Harmony, she started a brawl, so this was nothing new. I have had enough of women (both in real life AND on television) "backing that thing up" on the dance floor so far that the imprint from their money in their pocket is left on the guy's jeans and then acting all "I don't know what you mean-- I wasn't leading you on?" Gimme a break, Paloma-- my gynecologist has touched less of me than that guy did with you on the dance floor. AND you encouraged it. With your whole "Hizzoes before Broes" thing you had going on. It is a disgrace to young women who watch this show.. and it's about time that someone showed what happens when you don't act like you respect yourself. And for the record-- I don't care how hot you are-- you got no call walking into a bar, grabbing some guy on the dance floor and then not expecting him to want something in return. The guy *was* completely out of line, don't get me wrong. But men are mostly sheep-- their bodies act on pure friction, people!! But the bottom line is-- if Paloma hadn't been bumping and grinding like she was trying to lay asphalt-- maybe nothing would have happened. But no-- she's gotta shoot the video for her own personal version of "I bet you want my goodies." Skanky witch. Learn to have a little more respect for yourself. Speedy recovery wishes to you, Paloma-- and maybe they can give you a lobotomy while you're laid up in the hospital--! your freakin' sister is paralyzed, your mother has been destroyed by the actions of your father-- and you're too busy shooting "The Paloma Show of Unfairness" to care. Selfish witch.

And now-- for what you've all been waiting for. My purpose here is to lay the truth bare. I'm not rating, I'm not judging-- I am laying out Gwen's evil doings vs. Theresa's evil doings-- and the readers can decide for themselves who the most evil is. I realize that all people are gonna have their own opinions-- but the truth is-- JER has tried to bring these girls toe to toe in their machinations.. only making the distinction that Gwen is more physically tormenting while Theresa is more mentally tormenting-- and my question that I want to throw into the void is "Which is worse?" So here goes nothing-- Theresa-- Pretended to be Ethan and Gwen's friend to get close to Ethan. Gwen-- Pretended that she was Theresa's friend, all the time bad-mouthing and belittling her because of her "lower social class."

Theresa-- Lied about dating, being engaged to Chuck, then staging fake break-up to get sympathy. Gwen-- Lied to Ethan about her true intentions when she suggested he date both her and Theresa.

Theresa-- Dreamed of a life as a wealthy Crane, leading people to believe she was a gold-digger. Gwen-- Proving she was interested in the Crane money and power first, Ethan second when confronted by her OWN mother once Ethan's true paternity was revealed.

Theresa-- Broke into the Crane mansion to stalk Ethan, and lay in his bed in wait for him. Gwen-- Lying about not being able to go home, then dressing up in a silk nightie and sneaking into Ethan's room after he said she could stay in a "guest room" at the manse, trying to seduce Ethan when he was dating BOTH Theresa and Gwen.

Theresa-- Lying about not being able to get Gwen's engagement ring off her finger, trying to stop Ethan's proposal. Gwen-- Lying to Sheridan, promising that she would not do anything to stop the ET wedding.

Theresa-- Attempted suicide, endangering her baby when the secret broke out about her marriage to Julian. Gwen-- Attempted to kill her own baby on two separate occasions. Once when she threatened Theresa with a broken bottle after the implantation, and the second time when she tried to FORCE Theresa to abort the embryo.

Theresa-- Locked Gwen in a closet so she could dance with Ethan at the masquerade ball.