Censor's Passions Commentary - January 05, 2005

Hey guys.. *Censor screeches in the door*.. Sorry I'm late. Did I mention that my best friend is getting married? My entire life this past week has been putting out fires that blew up over the holidays. But nevertheless, I am here and ready to dish the dirt. So, grab a drink, and let's dig in.

GRAVES-- TC. He proposed to Liz? What? Are they kidding? This doesn't even make sense!! Unless they showed a scene where TC was purposely seeking vengeance against Eve.. there is absolutely no reason for him to propose to Liz, and a week after his divorce was finalized. Give me a friggin' break!! I wanna know how much alimony that TC got in the settlement, cuz neither he or Liz have jobs. I assume the mortgage is paid-- but did anyone see TC hand Liz a ring when he proposed? I'm thinking I'd need to see the ring before I married that crazy, anger-management-needing fool.

GRAVES-- Simone and Whitney. In regard to their pointed efforts to embrace Liz and oust their mother. If I said anything like that to my mother, I'd still be pulling a hairbrush outta my ear. Whitney's the worst. HELLO?!? You owe your mother a little geniality. I don't even wanna hear it. She's covering for your lyin' butt-- and here you go, insulting her again. That's the problem with kids these days (hehe).. they're never grateful for anything. Simone and Whitney need to be on their knees thanking their mother, because obviously Eve agreed to give TC the house in the divorce. Otherwise they'd be homeless.. just like Theresa and her family were. Ungrateful wenches.

GRAVES-- Beth. Just give it up. GIVE IT UP! You are not going to break up Luis and Sheridan. And even if you did.. Luis would be so focused on KaMart, that he wouldn't even give your lying, manipulative butt a second thought. He's already had you and left you more than once, Beth. Take a friggin' hint. He don't want you.

GRAVES-- Sheridan. For not being able to see what is right in front of her face. Beth mentioned that STUPID card what, 50 times? And it doesn't occur to her that MAYBE Beth had something to do with it? Anyone in their right mind, EVEN ON THEIR WEDDING DAY would have told Beth to shut up about that stupid card. Heck-- you don't even send thank you notes til after the wedding.. Sheridan coulda read it later. But no, Beth has to sit there and make Sheridan look like the dumb bimbo that JER has rewritten her as. Does anyone miss the old firecracker Sheridan like I do? BRING HER BACK, JER!!

RAVES-- Liz gets poisoned. Oh please-- let her DIE!! This would RULE! Oh my gosh-- I would throw a friggin party if that woman kicked the bucket. I don't even care that Rebecca's plan backfired-- seeing Liz lying on the floor was wonderful. Of course, JER won't be this kind-- we all know that Liz will live.

RAVES-- Eve. Man, it's been a long time since I *raved* Eve. But she was great this week. I loved the way she took it to Liz. She deserved it. Liz has done nothing but make her sister's life hizell, it's about time that Eve started giving as good as she gets. Liz has been spewing since she got off Antonio's boat-- and it's about time that Eve started laying the smackdown on her-- in church no less.

BEST LINE EVER goes to Father Lonigan. "Eve should join a health club to relieve her anger." This was CLASSIC!

GRAVES-- KaMart. Just stay away. Stop getting manipulated by a teenage girl who is just bringing you guys around to torture her mother. Have some sense. Luis AND Sheridan have BOTH told you on numerous occasions to STAY AWAY FROM THEM. What part of their request is ambiguous. Martin has no more right to request attendance at Luis and Sheridan's wedding than I did to Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's wedding. NONE. Except that JLO doesn't hate me and I didn't desert her when she was a child.

GRAVES-- Paloma. GRR. Ooh-- someone get me a whip. It's time to teach this whiny crybaby a lesson. "Tia Wheeler will help me get ready for my wedding?" So much for that kiss of hope that she sent her mother's way at Christmas Mass. Stupid troll-- someone needs to teach Paloma a lesson!! I wonder how Paloma will feel when she finds out her big sister is near death? Of course, Paloma will play the "Oh, I love you so much card".. but then she'll bring KaMart to the hospital, and I'll have to smack her again.