The column will be set up a little differently this week, since so many of the
storylines fed into Pilar’s stay in the hospital. So, grab your favorite
beverage and let’s dig in.
Whitney whines to Chad at the Seascape that her mother is in love with Julian,
and that she knows that she keeps running off to be with her “lover.” Chad tells
her to drop it as they wait for word on Pilar. Whitney and Chad return to the
studio to make love. Nice to see SUCH concern by Whitney for her best friend’s
mother. What, she can’t make the trip to the hospital—since Pilar is at death’s
door? What a witch.
TC is waiting at the Seascape for more info to break in the Crane expose by
Luis. But it gets held up for a while, since Luis is tending to Pilar in the
courtyard. Liz keeps running her mouth about how Eve’s life will be ruined if
the stories come out tonight. Eve tells TC that she is going to the hospital
with Pilar. She tells Liz to choke on her threats. (GO EVE!) Liz needs to either
spill the beans or shut her mouth.. she has become such a worthless character,
and I am just sick of her altogether. She needs to head back to St. Lisa’s and
take TC with her—they are both wasting time on my television. TC complains to
Luis about the secrets taking “too long” to come out, and Luis is consumed by
worry with his mother and takes off. Sam tells TC what happened between Luis and
Alistair. And surprisingly enough—TC is quite calm at the news that the secrets
have been lost. He still prays for Julian’s downfall, even at Luis’s insistence
that Alistair is the mastermind.
Ivy is lost at the sight of Pilar bleeding to death at the FDD. She relives all
their memories and times together and she is heartbroken at the death in their
friendship. She apologizes to her and Pilar, too weak to speak, squeezes her
hand in reassurance. Ivy realizes that she has to come clean with Sam before the
secrets she is keeping from him are revealed to the town. I actually thought
Poison Ivy was gonna come clean, but to no avail. Sam is called away and when he
returns, Ivy has learned that the secrets ARE NOT coming out. She thanks
Alistair for keeping her secrets “protected.” Alistair reminds her he will need
the favor repaid. Ivy cringes at the thought. Another opportunity lost by the
writers. I would love to see Ivy confess all her dirty deeds, and see Sam take
her back after some soul-searching. Nope—just a continuation of all the lies.
UGH.
Kay’s dress continues to unravel and it completely disappears and she is left
standing there buck naked in front of the designer, Charlie Lapson. What was up
with the staff?!? And Miguel?!? And Sam?!? Nobody even bothered to offer Kay a
jacket so she could cover up? The waiter wouldn’t let her cover up with a
tablecloth? That was a ridiculous scene written by the ridiculous writers. Kay
returns to Tabitha after enduring the catcalls all the way home and hiding
behind a sign she picked up. Tabitha, LIKE A TRUE FRIEND, is waiting with a robe
to cover Kay up. At least someone around here can do the right thing. Tabitha
encourages Kay to stop Charity and Miguel from bonding again, as they are
watching the two star-crossed lovers embrace over Pilar in the hospital. Kay
decides to take Maria to the hospital to tug on Miguel’s heart strings and keep
Charguel from reuniting.
Pilar lays bleeding in the courtyard as Luis plans to reveal more Crane secrets.
Alistair tells Luis that Pilar is dying outside. Luis rushes to her side. Eve
confirms Pilar’s diagnosis to her family. Alistair offers to get Pilar into the
Valtin Project. Funny, but when Eve was telling Pilar about her treatment
options, I don’t remember Eve mentioning there was a program that could help her
more than the medicine she was already taking. I am pretty sure that Eve said
that the medicine Pilar was taking was the ONLY thing that could help her, but I
digress. (as usual) Alistair says he will get Pilar into the program if Luis
agrees to turn over all the CDs to him. Luis grabs Hank’s gun and holds Alistair
at gunpoint.
Pilar is rushed to the hospital. Luis asks Eve to re-check the stats on the
Valtin Project and let him know, so he can make a decision regarding Alistair’s
offer. I know that everyone on the message boards went off the deep end that
Luis took time to think about it—but I offer this as a rebuttal. Luis would
NEVER trust Alistair’s word. He wanted to make sure that the project was in
fact, real—and that it would still work. They (the L-F family) have been in the
dark about Pilar’s illness. And still don’t know much about it. It would make
sense that he would take some time to make sure the Project would work before he
handed over all his leverage to his worst enemy. Eve later confirms that the
Valtin Project is Pilar’s best option, but confers with Julian that maybe she
should lie to Luis so they can find their son. (selfish witch—and just like
that—I am back to HATING Eve again.) But she decides to tell the truth and Luis
makes a deal with the devil to save his mother. But Alistair gets one last shot
in, and makes Luis say “please” before Alistair will enroll Pilar in the Valtin
Project. Sick motherclucker. I HATE ALISTAIR!!
The whole time Antonio and Sheridan are waiting for the news on the Crane
secrets. Antonio wants to leave for St. Lisa’s now.. and Sheridan refuses to
leave. Antonio tells Sheridan that Luis has postponed the “show” because he has
no real evidence. But Sheridan feels she should wait. (just LEAVE him
already—this is insane—she is clearly pulled to Luis—but stays with Antonio?!?
Whatever) Something is telling her NOT to leave just yet. Finally, she gets
pulled away by Antonio just as Luis is coming in. He begs them not to leave. He
gets interrupted by Sam telling Luis that the “feds” are upset that the gave
away all the evidence against Alistair. Sam is worried that Luis will go to
prison. Luis returns to Sheridan and Antonio and tries to tell them what
happened, but Antonio cuts him off. They begin arguing and Hank and Sam
interfere and tell Antonio to listen to what Luis has to say. Luis tells them
about Pilar. Yes, because Antonio and Sheridan have apparently become deaf AND
blind. They didn’t see the big scene outside? They didn’t hear the ambulance or
see the paramedics or see the stretcher going by? What idiots!!! Antonio is so
busy keeping his “waaf” away from Luis and Sheridan just doesn’t know what to
think, that they have obviously become incapable of any outside thought. They
can only hear what is told to them. They are not capable of deductive reasoning.
SCHMUCKS!! Antonio immediately blames Luis for their mother’s illness. He says
Luis was too busy concocting lies to get Sheridan back that he has “worried
their mother” to death. UGH. They begin to argue again, and Sheridan musters up
what little backbone she has to tell them BOTH to shut up and get their sorry
butts to the hospital.
Julian heads to Alistair’s office and tries to steal the CDs so he can get the
information on his son. Alistair and Julian argue and Julian decides to leave
despite Alistair’s threats. Alistair pulls a gun and shoots Julian and he falls
to the floor. He has just been shot in the shoulder, but he is losing a lot of
blood. He decides to take himself to the hospital because he is losing too much
blood. When he arrives, just before he collapses, he asks to only see Eve.
We see a new couple in Mexico. We are not told their names, only a sprinkling of
their past when Miguel tries to call Paloma to give news of Pilar. We learn that
they fell in love at the FDD years ago and fled town. We learn that Paloma does
not know who they really are. We also learn that the woman was warned by Tabitha
years ago that BIG trouble would come in the summer of 2004. The woman wants to
go back to Harmony, but the man says they cannot go back. They have ruined too
many lives. The woman later receives a call from Tabitha, who disguises her
voice, and warns them not to return to Harmony. I know who these people are—as
do most of you—but I will not use their names in my column until we are told
their names on screen. I wouldn’t want to ruin it for anyone who is wanting to
be surprised. I will say I think the premise they are working on is RIDICULOUS,
but I will give this story more time to grow and see where it goes.
Theresa sneaks into the mansion and stops to visit Little Ethan before she sets
her big plan in motion. Ethan and Gwen check in on little Ethan when they hear
him crying for his “mommy.” Gwen finished packing and makes Ethan promise to
finish off the champagne while she is gone. Ethan walks her to the car. Theresa
sneaks into their room and puts the “roofie-like” drugs into his drink. When he
returns, he almost doesn’t drink it—but Gwen calls and wants to toast their
marriage. She is also consumed with concern that Theresa is near (Gwen—you have
NO idea). They toast and Ethan is “toasted.” Theresa splashes Gwen’s perfume on
(very a la Sami with Austin—JER really needs to come up with some new material)
and climbs into bed with Ethan after he seems to have fallen asleep. Theresa in
her blond wig, and Ethan in his drunken stupor begin to go at it.
Gwen learns in the car that her flight has been cancelled and the driver begins
to take her home. The driver of the car prompts Gwen to talk about her sex life.
Gwen is aghast a first, but then gushes with details. Gwen cannot stop talking
about how “hot” her sex life is with Ethan and how Theresa is the bane of her
existence as she retells her sordid past to the driver. C’mon Gwen—you have got
to find some new topics. Take some classes, get a thesaurus. Just STOP TALKING
ABOUT THERESA to anyone who will listen. It’s getting OLD. You’re SO secure in
your marriage, but you constantly worry that Theresa is going to get Ethan back.
Ethan and Theresa, meanwhile are continuing their romp in the sack. Theresa has
the most disgusted look on her face, but realizes that she will always love
Ethan, and wonders if she loves him still. She reassures herself that she loves
Fox, but you can see that she is broken up about what she has done. Ethan cannot
believe how good their “session” was. Back to the car—did anyone notice how
“ghetto” Gwen sounded when she was talking about she and Ethan’s sex life? It
was shades of the old Gwen who would talk about their love life at will, to
anyone who would, or wouldn’t listen. SO TRASHY. Gwen arrives back at the manse
and tells the driver she and Ethan are going to “steam up the sheets” like never
before. (I think they are pretty hot already, Gwennie.)
Theresa and Ethan finish up as Gwen opens the door and Theresa hides. Gwen is
“shocked” to find Ethan passed out. WHY? She told him to finish the champagne
off. And we all know how “obedient” Ethan is. He will do ANYTHING Gwen tells him
to do. She tries to make love, but Ethan tells her he is exhausted from their
earlier romp. He gushes about how good it was. Gwen is shocked at his words. She
tells him he must have been dreaming. Meanwhile, Theresa is getting dressed in
Little Ethan’s room and Gwen busts her. Theresa hides the wig behind her back.
Little Ethan wakes up and calls for “mommy.” To which Gwen and Theresa say “yes,
honey” in unison. Gwen has got SOME nerve. I don’t care what the courts
did—Theresa IS his mother. Motherhood is not determined by a court of law, and
Gwen just proved without a shadow of a doubt that she is the most coldhearted
witch I have ever seen. Gwen chides Theresa for waking up “her son.” Gwen has
got a LOT of nerve. She throws Theresa out of the room and demands to know what
she is hiding behind her back. Theresa has just hidden the wig in her purse and
shows the purse to Gwen. Gwen accuses Theresa of trying to kidnap Little Ethan
again. They argue. Ethan wakes up and come out into the hall. Gwen says she is
calling the police, but Fox hangs up the phone. Gwen whines that Theresa broke
in and she’s not allowed here. Fox gives the speech of his short career on
Passions. He tells them he gave Theresa the key and she will be there whenever
she wants. She is his girlfriend, and Ethan is just a WINTHROP and Gwen is just
a HODGEPODGE. Loved this—Gwen looked so hurt. Wah wah wah, Gwen. Fox told the
truth. Gwen and Ethan head to bed where Gwen is confused that her pillow smells
like perfume, especially since she forgot to put her perfume on that day. Ethan
tells her to play laundry detective later.
Fox tells Theresa about Pilar and they rush to the hospital. In the car, he asks
her how she got on the estate and what she was doing there. She says that Pilar
gave her the keys and looks sick to her stomach to tell him the rest. Fox and
Theresa show up at the hospital and meet up with Miguel and Charity. Antonio,
Sheridan and Luis show up a bit later and the Lopez Fitzgerald’s are rocked by
the notion that their mother could die. They all begin to blame themselves in
their minds for Pilar’s condition. Antonio blames Luis again, and Miguel lashes
out at Antonio. He tells him to shut up and that he is wrong. They all visit
Pilar and wait at her bedside for word from Eve on her response to the new
drugs. Eve tells them that she is getting worse, not better and that it may be
time to call Father Lonigan.
Antonio FINALLY apologizes to his mother at Sheridan’s insistence. He actually
accepts some of the blame, even if it is only in his mind—and he never utters
the words. Pilar begs Antonio to make peace with Luis before she dies.
Theresa begins to tell Fox the truth, but is interrupted by Kay and Maria’s
arrival at the hospital. Kay goes into her story of “wanting to let Pilar see
Maria.” Maybe it will lift her spirits. UGH! I think Maria should be there, as
well as Little Ethan, but not for the pure reason that Kay is using. To keep
Charity and Miguel apart.
Meanwhile, Luis is praying in the chapel and Sheridan walks in on him. She rails
at him for making him doubt her marriage and her family with all his lies. She
tells him that Antonio was right, that all Luis’s “proof” was a lie. Luis
doesn’t argue with her and she storms off. She later complains to Eve about Luis
lying to her. Eve sets Sheridan straight and tells Sheridan how Luis traded the
CDs for Pilar’s entrance into the program. She tells her how Alistair
blackmailed Luis. Sheridan returns to the chapel and she apologizes profusely to
Luis. She says that she has a “new respect for him.”
Father Lonigan arrives at the hospital and prepares to administer last rites.
Antonio wonders where Sheridan and Luis are—and if they are together. Miguel
tells him to stop worrying, they don’t need to stress Pilar out. He says Luis is
praying in the chapel and Sheridan is probably talking to Eve about Pilar’s
condition. The week closes with Father Lonigan beginning the last rites for
Pilar.
Best Part of the week—Fox’s “I am a Crane” speech. I have been waiting for Fox
to step up an be the Crane we all knew he was. Ethan and Gwen have NO business
traipsing about the mansion as if it were their own. Cause it just ain’t—and
nobody is going to convince me otherwise.
Worst Part of the week—Theresa raping Ethan. UGH.
And now—for my RANT OF THE WEEK—Antonio. He is a three-time loser in my rant. I
am so sick of him saying that Luis had “no evidence” at the Seascape. That he
showed nothing. That it was all a waste of time. Not everything in the world
revolves around your love for Sheridan. And the news to TC and Sam as well as
the others, that the Cranes had stolen their land and businesses was a pretty
big deal to THEM. So much so—that random Harmonites were compelled to spit in
Julian’s face. There were things revealed. Stop being so conceited. And for
those who chide Luis for refusing to accept Sheridan’s “love of Antonio”.. how
soon you forget. Antonio refused to accept it when Sheridan was honest and said
she loved Luis, and wanted to be with him. He even had her admitted to the
freakin’ psych ward and joined forces with Alistair to keep her as his wife.
Give me a break, guys. No matter how this whole sordid storyline turned out—BOTH
brothers are guilty of an undying love for Sheridan. But I’m still rooting for
Luis. Not because I am a SHUIS lover, but because I do not like the way Antonio
is trying to control Sheridan, telling her when to leave places, guilting her
about Luis. Here’s a tip to you Antonio (the same one I gave Gwen).. if you have
to WORK this hard to keep your lady love.. maybe it just isn’t love at all.
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