Without any further ado—let’s dive right into another
(pleasantly) busy week in Harmony.
Kay tells Tabby how she sabotaged Charity’s design by changing the measurements.
(Okay—right off the bat—the show made me angry!!) As if Charity would not know
her freakin’ measurements?!? All the women on this board will agree with me that
you know EXACTLY what your waist measurement is—and if someone changed a design
and put your waist at 42” rather than Molly’s obvious 22” or 24”.. you WOULD
notice.. but I digress. Tabby tells Kay that Endora has offered to turn Kay into
a princess for the dance this evening.. but that there is a clause. Endora
transforms Kay’s horrible bridesmaid dress into a lovely blue gown. (minus the
water wings, of course) Kay must be home by midnight, thus the whole “Cinderella
clause.”
Charity discusses with Ivy how much hope she has for her design career,
especially since she and Miggy have decided to go into business together. She
tries on her new creation and ends up looking like a Shirley Temple “Good Ship
Lollypop” reject. Ivy produces a “couture” gown that she bought a few years ago.
This again—was a laughable plotline—I am not taking shots at Ivy’s figure, she
looks fabulous—but it is clearly NOT that of Charity’s—why would she buy such a
small dress? She should have prefaced it by saying that she bought it for one of
her daughters.. but NOPE. Charity “doctors” the dress up and LA DA!! She looks
like a million bucks.
Kay is upset at Charity’s quick work—but realizes there is nothing she can do
about it now. So she tries to sabotage Charity’s portfolio, but Miggy saves the
day and the drink ends up going all over Charity’s dress.. Charity leaves to dry
off. Ivy introduces Charlie Lapson (the big fashion designer) to Charity, and he
is bored with her portfolio. He is, however, mesmerized by Kay’s “beautiful
gown” and Kay chats him up, gloating that Charity is heartbroken. But—time is
not on Kay’s side—she realizes that midnight is rapidly approaching and notices
that her dress is beginning to unravel.
Eve and Julian almost make love, but they are interrupted by a faulty x-ray
machine in her office. (in her office?!?—sorry guys—x-ray machines aren’t kept
in doctor’s offices.. for one thing—they are the size of a freakin’ closet!!)
Eve realizes that she cannot betray TC by sleeping with Julian. Julian and Eve
discuss their love and his grand “rape” confession that she will not accept as
penance for her own sins. (Good for Eve—god knows she has had no problem putting
everyone else in town out to dry—at least she won’t let Julian do THIS!) Julian
confesses that he was part of TC’s accident. That Alistair told him to “take TC
out”, but Julian couldn’t—because he respected TC so much. (such respect—he
won’t kill him—but he’ll try to sleep with his wife—go figure, fellow
watchers!!) He admits that he got very drunk that night of the accident, but
that he did not do anything intentionally—that it was a TRUE accident.
TC shows Liz his big secret in the shed. A car. A freakin'
car?!?!?! That’s what I waited 5 years for? A stupid car? C’mon—give me his
dad’s mummified body, pictures of Eve during her drug days.. something—not the
stupid CAR!! TC tells Liz that he met Eve after his downward spiral of the car
accident and his father’s death of a broken heart, as well as his alcohol and
painkiller abuse that landed him in the ER, and into Eve’s life. TC later goes
to the hospital to pick Eve up for the FDD. He is “shocked” that she isn’t
ready, or dressed for the dance. (another stupid ‘Oh my God!’ moment)
Liz later runs into Luis, who asks her to come to the dance so that she can
“support” the Russell’s, since there is a lot of incriminating stuff on the CDs.
Liz follows Luis to Hank’s so she can help him decode the CDs. I had no idea
that Liz was so computer savvy—I figured living on the island would have been a
pretty limited existence. I learn something new everyday.. hehe. Later, at
Hanks, she distracts Luis and reads some pretty interesting information about
TC’s accident. She is shocked to read that Julian wasn’t even DRIVING THE CAR!
So, who was??
Whitney and Chad help Luis set up for the FDD. Luis warns Whitney that there is
a lot of information coming out tonight that may hurt her family. Whitney runs
to warn her father, and try to stop him from going to the dance, but TC refuses
when he learns that the Crane secrets will be revealed at the dance. Chad asks
Luis if there is any information about him or his parents on those CDs.. and
Luis says that there is not. This is quelle interesse, if you ask me!! We all
know that Alistair is stupid enough to keep all the other dirty details of his
life on those CDs. The writers have been hinting Chad is Evian’s love child—but
wouldn’t Alistair have documented that, especially in the “Julian’s Kid (I’m
substituting for the ugly B word that was used)” file? Just a thought—is this a
mishap by the writers—or true foreshadowing.. that maybe, just maybe—Chad isn’t
Evian’s son?? (man, I can only hope!!)
Julian returns to the mansion and relives his day of “almost-sex” with Eve. He
decides to take his frustrations out on Rebecca. Which, in my humble opinion—is
a good a place as any.. hehe. He tells her that he is probably going to be
arrested at the dance, and he cannot wait to make her a social pariah. He forces
her to wear what has to be the BEST promotional dress for the NBC peacock that I
have ever seen. (smiles) Julian later shares a stolen dance with Eve on the
terrace as he fears his time in the free world is coming to an end. Chad and Fox
swear allegiance to Julian. (what was this?? Fox hates Julian, and why would
they team up for him—when they know that all he has done is true?)
Beth is cornered by Alistair, and threatened with being exposed for stealing
Sheridan’s baby—she agrees to help sabotage Luis. She goes to the Seascape,
where Luis busts her trying to delete the files off his laptop. She explains it
away by saying that she was just curious. (I’m telling you—put Luis near Beth,
and his IQ drops like, 100 points) Luis accepts Beth’s lame explanation. Beth
returns to Alistair to tell him she has failed. Beth returns to the house, to
pack and prepare to leave town. But she is grabbed, as well as “her son” by two
of Alistair’s henchmen, and ordered to go back to the Seascape and unlock the
back door, so they can steal the files. Beth, of course, has to agree—she can’t
have all that scheming be for naught, and be busted by the VERY man she has been
trying to steal for over 2 ½ years, now can she?? (smirks)
Sheridan and Antonio are preparing for the dance, and Sheridan cannot stop
thinking of Luis. Of course, she stupidly admits this to Antonio, who doesn’t
want to go to the dance anyway. He tries to persuade her to leave town with him
before the dance, but Sheridan says she has to see the proof. (You see—words and
the little bits she already saw on the laptop are not enough—Sheridan MUST be
completely and utterly traumatized, before she can ever realize the truth about
ANYTHING.) Luis sends Sheridan a rose and a love note at the dance, which she
throws on the floor. He tries to return it, and Antonio goes into “get away from
my WAAF” mode, and Pilar covers for Luis saying that the rose was for her, not
Sheridan.
Luis begins his very lovely PowerPoint presentation, and the room fills with
gasps and aww’s. TC and Sam learn that their family’s land and businesses were
stolen by the Cranes. The presentation of the Crane’s financial dirty deeds are
exposed (see my low point of the week) and then the power goes out. Alistair’s
goons are busted by Hank, Luis and Sam when they try to escape out the back door
with the CDs. Luis drags Alistair into the party, so he can enjoy the
“festivities.” Antonio tries to get Sheridan to leave during the blackout, but
she refuses and Luis’s next presentation shows the boat explosion in Bermuda.
Sheridan is floored and will not hear Antonio’s “explanations” of how Luis is
desperate anymore.
Beginning of the week finds Gwen refusing to believe that Theresa is pregnant.
Fox reminds Gwen of just how “fertile” Theresa is. (ooohh—hit her where it
hurts—her arch enemy can do the one thing Gwen cannot do—procreate—it ATE Gwen
up.) Theresa offers the trade again, that way everyone will get what they want.
Ethan tries to persuade Gwen to agree, but Rebecca tells Gwen that she “forbids”
her to allow this to happen. Gwen refuses to return Little Ethan, EVER. She
informs Theresa that once the baby that Theresa is carrying is born, that she
will sue Theresa for custody, and that Theresa won’t have a leg to stand on,
because the courts already took one child away from her. (of course,
conveniently forgetting her own hand in that lovely little decision) Ethan tells
Theresa that it is probably true, but he clearly doesn’t like the way Gwen is
acting.
Fox and Theresa return to the Russell’s, and Theresa hides her pains from Fox
while they are talking, and later loses the baby while in the bathroom. Theresa
cries to Fox that she lost the baby, but Fox mistakenly thinks she is talking
about Little Ethan. Theresa decides to seduce Fox so that she can get pregnant
and that way—she will still have a trade for Ethan and Gwen. (Ugh!! Dishonesty
between Therox—this cannot bode well.) Fox almost gives in, but backs off when
he remembers the doctor’s warning and how Theresa cannot have sex for at least 2
weeks, to make sure the embryo takes. Theresa keeps begging him to make love to
her, and Fox is amazed at how cavalier she is about the possible dangers. He
asks her if she is hiding something, did she lose the baby. Theresa backpedals
and says no. Fox leaves and Theresa realizes that in order to fool a possible
future DNA test, that she must get pregnant by Ethan—and she looks absolutely
horrified at the thought.
Theresa admits to Pilar that she lost the baby, and lays out her new plan. She
called a former headhunter friend to get Gwen a bogus interview in Boston, so
Gwen will have to be out of town, she will get Ethan drunk and disguise herself
as Gwen so that Ethan will sleep with her. Pilar is mortified at her daughter’s
plan.
Ethan and Gwen prepare for the FDD when Gwen gets a call from the headhunter.
She agrees to go to Boston for the interview, and later she and Ethan talk about
how—if it works out, maybe they could move to Boston and Gwen laments that
Theresa would be gone from their lives forever if that happened. Like Theresa
wouldn’t follow her son to Boston? As if. Gwen is convinced that Theresa’s
pregnancy will fail, and silently prays that the baby will die in Theresa’s
body. How freakin’ sick is this?!? She is wishing death on her own child. No
matter who is bringing it into the world—that is still her flesh and blood.
PATHETIC, Gwen. Just pathetic.
Pilar points out to Theresa that if she gets pregnant by Ethan, that she cannot
give it up, because that child would be just as much her child as Little Ethan.
Theresa admits that she has not thought everything through, but that she cannot
think about things that far down the road. (Please, Theresa—look down the
road—this is all going to end BADLY.) She maintains that her first priority is
getting pregnant again. She will figure out the rest later.
Gwen freaks when Theresa shows up at the FDD. She tells Theresa that she needs
to be somewhere putting her feet up to ensure she stays pregnant. Why does she
care? As quick as I typed it—Gwen switches gears and says she hopes Theresa has
a good time, so that she will lose the baby. SICK WITCH. Theresa tells Gwen she
is horrible.
Theresa pays off a waiter to ply Ethan with champagne (did anyone else but me
wonder where she GOT THE MONEY FROM?!?) and later steals an “experimental drug”
that Eve is doing some research on. “It’s like Rohypnol (roofies) without all
the dangerous side effects.” Give me a break, now Eve is researching drugs??
Man—no wonder she never has time for her husband.
Gwen and Ethan decide to bail on the party when the Crane secrets start coming
out. What’s the matter, Gwen—afraid that Alistair kept tabs on you and Rebecca’s
tabloid schemes?? Ethan, who is already pretty schnockered, agrees to leave and
they head back to the Manse to make love. Meanwhile, Theresa realizes they have
left, and heads to the Crane Estate as well, having already gotten the keys and
codes to the house. (Why would Pilar still have keys to the mansion? Didn’t she
get fired?!?) Theresa tells Little Ethan they will be together soon. And Little
E’s cries of “mommy” stop Gwen and Ethan’s bliss and they go to check on him.
Best part of the week—Rebecca’s humiliation in THAT DRESS. Gwen was
appropriately embarrassed, yet couldn’t stop laughing. And Ivy’s question of,
“And who are you dressed as? Big Bird’s date?” Was classic and true Ivy Crane.
LOVED IT.
Worst part of the week—Okay—let me get this straight. Luis successfully decoded
the CDs, has presumably transferred them all into the lovely PowerPoint
presentations, so they will be easily readable—and he begins with the financial
records?!? WHATEVER. He knows the intimate and dirty secrets of the Cranes, how
they have ruined everyone in Harmony—but hey—let’s start with the stupid tax
records. Boo. Hiss.
And Finally—my RANT OF THE WEEK. And I hate to say it guys—but this week—the
honor of my ROTW goes to the lovely Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald. I love Theresa.
She is hands down, one of my favorite characters to EVER grace the small
screen.. But—WHAT IS SHE THINKING? I know she is desperate to get Little Ethan
back—but to even think for a moment that she could trade her and Fox’s baby for
Little Ethan, just goes to show how much she has truly lost it. I know she
changed her mind—but to even contemplate it was tacky. Fox loves her for who she
is.. she doesn’t have to hide anything from him—he would walk through the
freakin’ fire for her (he is already doing that).. and she has the NERVE to
consider doing this to him? I went along with the stealing of the embryo—it was
out of touch with reality, but I could understand a mother’s desperate need to
be with her child—but THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR. She realizes that if she seduces
Ethan, that it will be ½ her child, too—but still maintains that she will trade
it for Little Ethan. Oh wait—I’m sorry—she hasn’t “thought that far down the
road” yet. THERESA—you are becoming just as obsessed as Gwen is—and trust me
honey—it isn’t a good look for you. Stealing the date rape drug from Eve’s bag
was the final straw. Dressing up like Gwen is bad enough, but putting him under
with a drug you have been warned could have fatal, life-altering side effects is
INSANE. I know you are angry with Ethan for what he has done.. and I don’t blame
you.. but this is too far over the line.. (to quote a wonderful little TV show
that came to a glorious end this week.. “You’re so far past the line, you can’t
even see the line! The line is a dot to you.” Stop this now, Theresa. I have
NEVER forgiven Kay for her “rape” of Miguel.. and if you go through with this, I
fear I will never forgive you, either.
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